Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband

I am so excited to finally meet you… Or wait, maybe I’ve met you already!
It’s so fun to imagine what you’d be like: will you be tall, dark and handsome? Or maybe you’ll be that blonde beach boy type guy. Who knows, maybe you’ll be one of those proper little nerds that my brother would tease me about (here’s hoping you’ll be a lekker Afrikaans boytjie, I don’t think I could handle years of being chuned for marrying a “soutjie”! :P )

I’ve got this idea in my head of what I’d like personality-wise: the usual kind, generous, outgoing, fun to talk to, romantic, good sense of humour etc etc, but deeper than that; you’ll be this amazing Christian guy who will help bring me closer to God, you will be able to have random fun with me (yup, cause I can get a bit weird sometimes :P ), but also serious and deep. I’d like to think we’d never run out of things to talk about, and when we are silent, it’s that comfortable sort of silence where there isn’t really a need to say anything. 

Just like my grandparents, I imagine us to have that type of love where we can spend every single day together for years and not get bored with one another (now this is a miracle for me because I tend to need space even from those I love the most sometimes :P #NoOffenseMeant).

I think of you as leading me in life, but at the same time, not stepping over me or keeping me in a box. You will help me reach my potential, without “parenting” over me so to say. We will grow together, and together we will achieve the impossible. You’ll support me and encourage me, you will motivate me to achieve my heart’s desires even when all the odds are against me. You will really listen to what I say (this is probably an impossible wish because I talk waaaaaay too much) and respect my opinion.

You will be the guy that my parents prayed I’d meet, and even though they can’t physically be there along our journey, you will still want to know about them and my brother and my childhood when I used to be a drama queen and tomboy who hated wearing girly things.
I know that we will face tough times and it’s unrealistic to think that life will be a bed of roses, but I also know that we will have a passionate, God-fueled relationship that will equip us to climb even the toughest mountains, despite maybe stumbling on some rocks along the way.

Hunter Haye’s song “I Want Crazy” sums it up perfectly for me:

But I don’t want good and I don’t want good enough

I want can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you love…

Front porch and one more kiss,

It doesn’t make sense to anybody else.

Who cares if you’re all I think about?

I’ve searched the world and I know now

It ain’t right if you ain’t lost your mind

I don’t want easy, I want crazy…

(Hopefully you like music and terrible singing, because my shower voice isn’t one to phone home about :P)

Now I could go on and on and on (I’m a hopeless romantic, so I’ve put tons of thought into how we will meet, how you’ll propose and you know, all those basic girly thoughts ;) ), but I have to stop myself and think. How can I expect all this from you but not give thought as to how I am as a person? That feels like horrible English, but hopefully the meaning still comes across.

It feels like when I think of you, I think of Superman in a sense. Is it fair to expect a “superman” when I, myself, am just a normal human being who makes mistakes, gets moody for no apparent reason and has several annoying habits that would drive even the sanest person crazy? Life isn’t like the movies, it’s sad, but it’s true.

Relationships take hard work and sacrifice, and sometimes we do need to be a bit vulnerable and take risks. I imagine this love that stops time, that has me feeling on a constant cloud 9, but at the end of the day, I’ve seen even the most loving couples have clashes and go through hard times. But then I think about it, we serve a pretty amazing God who tells us in Psalm 37:4 that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart.

Because of that, I refuse to accept mediocrity. I refuse to settle for anything less than the best. But not just in regard to you, in regard to myself as well. Life is hard, university is tough, but just like David refused to shy away from Goliath, I refuse to shy away from any challenge in my life. Your happiness depends largely on your attitude, and if a person is going to have a negative attitude, odds are that that person’s life isn’t going to be one filled with butterflies and roses. 

The best things in life take hard work. It takes sacrifice and perseverance. The moment we start giving into mediocrity is the moment we do not achieve the destiny we were meant for. Just like me, you have an AMAZING future ahead of you, one that will make even the greatest names in history SHIVER IN THEIR BOOTS. I am excited. I am passionate. I am going to live life to the fullest.

On my way to meeting you, I am going to prepare myself to be a wife that you can be proud of. However, one thing I have learnt, I will not be happy with you until I am happy in myself.

Being happy in yourself is easier said than done, but if you do not love yourself, it is really difficult to love others. Why else would Mark 12:31 tell us that the second greatest commandment is to love others as you love yourself? It finally makes sense to me! One day when we sit under the stars and really dive into one another’s pasts, I will tell you how important it is that this finally makes sense, but so long just trust me. If you are unhappy with who you are as a person, mediocrity will stay with you.

I need to stop limiting myself to achieving average goals.

I am not an average girl, and neither are you an average boy.

Life is tough, but we are tougher.

Maybe I’m looking at life with a fairytale kind of view, but like Will Smith said:

“Being realistic is the common path to mediocrity.”

So just in closing, know that I back you- you can do whatever you set your mind to.
Don’t look back in a few years and wish that you’d started sooner.

There is no better time than right this second.

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Michaela <3

Are we there yet?

It was the first time I was driving to Durban without an adult in the car. For those of you who know me, you'll know how terrible my geography skills are. Honestly, I'm surprised I don't get lost walking from my room to the bathroom (the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, just saying).
So my best friend and I decided we needed a beach day- two girls driving alone to UShaka Beach, where we have been MILLIONS of times before; what could possibly go wrong?
Well, firstly, the driver could take the wrong turn off and end up heading towards Scottburgh.
Secondly, the two best friends could be jamming so much to music that they don't realise they're ending up in some dodgy area with lots of litter and minimal people.
Thirdly, the driver could start having a stress attack (yup, we all know how I over-worry...) and be near tears while the passenger laughs and says "Calm down bru, we can just do a U-turn" (yes, because doing a U-turn in a totally dodge Durban area on a highway is the best possible solution).
Anyway, needless to say, that was the most stressful trip to Durban I have EVER had and relaxing in the sun was MUCH needed after that! Despite the dangerous journey, we eventually arrived there safely.
Did I kiss the ground and shout thanks at the heavens?
Maybe.

Often this is how life is. We are so busy cruising through life that we forget there will come times when the journey is terrifying, dangerous, uncomfortable; and often in those times, we lash out and blame others, our situation or even God. But think about it: how boring would life be if the road to our final destination was always straight and calm?
Even in my opening story, the journey to the beach was HORRIBLE. I panic so easily and end up making myself sick, but after we arrived, it was actually really funny.
Maybe you're in a place now that's hard and stressful, but keep going on- drive ahead and DON'T MAKE THAT U-TURN! Growth isn't meant to be easy or comfortable, why else would it be called "growing pains"?
If we keep wanting to drive back to the beginning of our journey, it'll just take longer to reach the right destination. Now I'm not saying that's always bad, sometimes it's better to make sure you'll get there safely in one piece, rather than to get there quickly but full of regrets.
As it says in Proverbs 3:5-6,"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight."
When we rely on our own understanding, that's when we end up taking the wrong turn off and ending up towards Scottburgh instead of UShaka.
It's okay to not always understand what's going on; it's okay to not have everything worked out. Romans 8:28 says that God works everything out for the good of those who love Him. It's unrealistic to have everything worked out for yourself- life is filled with mishaps and inconsistency, but if you remember that no matter what, God wants you to have good, not bad, it really gives you a different perspective.
Now I know sometimes it feels like "Why would God let this happen to me?", but at those times, you need to look at your own actions. It's unfair to steal a car, get arrested and then say "Why would the police do this to me?” For every action, there is a consequence, and at the end of the day God did give us free will, so what we decide to do will bring its own outcomes and we are the ones responsible for that.
Furthermore, if you don't have it all figured it, remember Jeremiah 29:11 where God says He KNOWS the plans He has for us. He has a plan for your life, you just need to ask Him to let Him show you where to go.
Stop relying on people or things-they don't last forever. Malachi 3:6 says that God DOES NOT change. Isn't it more beneficial to rely on the One Thing that stays constant no matter what, instead of the worldly things that can change on a moment's notice?

Psalm 146:3 warns us, “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.” At the end of the day, we are only human. Humans make mistakes and I can guarantee you, if you rely on people for your happiness, you’ll never really be happy, and you may end up going on the complete wrong road. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Don’t be lead off the path you’re meant to go because of the people you choose to surround yourself with. You may miss out on an incredible future.

Please hear my heart. Don’t give up just because the journey is tough. Exams are horrible, work can be depressing, people can be annoying and life can just throw curveballs your way 24/7, but just know that God has a plan and I like to believe there is a reason for everything. When my parents and younger brother died, it wasn’t something I could have ever imagined happening to me, but at the end of the day, it did happen and that’s life. No one said it would be easy. Jesus Himself says, “… In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33). Ah, but then comes the hope, that one, sweet piece of joy in a world filled with unhappiness and negativity: “However, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’- the things God has prepared for those who love Him”.

God has such amazing things in store for YOU. Yes, YOU. I don’t know what’s going on in your life at the moment or what you’re struggling with, but I can promise you this: if you trust it to God and have faith, it will turn out even better than okay. In fact, you will look back and laugh.

“For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” Psalm 91:11.

God’s got your back. He is the best GPS you will ever find- He will never, ever let you go the wrong way as long as you decide to trust His guidance.

So are you ready?

Are you ready to experience a future like none you could have ever imagined?

Again, Dr Seuss says it perfectly,

“Congratulations!
Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

Any direction you choose…

With your head full of brains and

Your shoes full of feet,

You’re too smart to go down

Any not-so-good street….

OH!

THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!