Don't Settle

So I'm sitting in a plane right now and there's turbulence; to say I'm freaking out would be putting it mildly. However, I tend to get very deep when I think I'm about to die, and I landed up thinking about relationships (ah trust Michaela to think of boys when she may only have minutes left to live!)

A word of warning, I'm going to be VERY honest in this blog, so don't judge :/ (just remember I only just recently turned 18! Haha!)

I've always said I'm going to wait until marriage to have sex and that I'm going to stay pure for my husband. I think this is due to ignorance, but I honestly thought it would be so easy and I'm a Christian, so I obviously wouldn't be tempted to do anything naughty with boys.

But then hormones, experimental friends and over keen boys came along. Then I suddenly realised that I had actually signed myself up to quite a big challenge. 

I've also always been quite the romantic, and I always imagined that if a guy liked me liked me, that he would bring me flowers, write me romantic letters, post cute photos of me on social media and say adorable things like "I don't know why God would bless such an ordinary guy like me with such an amazing girl like her <3" (obviously he would be underestimating himself, though, because my guy wouldn't just be ordinary!). However, reality hit me hard last year and I realized most guys actually aren't like that. It's not that they're bad guys or anything, it's just that guys' brains work differently to girls' I suppose. I won't lie, this did bum me out a bit though. 

And then one day I was having a conversation with a really good friend of mine because we had discovered that we were a part of a handful of virgins left in our schools. Then we spoke and posed the question why we should even wait if the chances are high that our future husbands are probably not virgins, if society standards are anything to go by. I mean here we are, trying SO hard not to fall into temptation, and then there our husbands are getting frisky with some irritating girl (sorry if that girl is super nice and all, but hey, if you're dating my future husband, you better expect some hard feelings from me ;) ) 

I prayed about this a lot. I mean did God really mean we had to stay virgins until marriage? Maybe He meant that we just shouldn't sleep around with a million different guys. Plus, you know, the world has changed from Bible days and maybe nowadays it's ok if we don't wait. Also, in Bible days, girls were getting married at 12 or 14, so they didn't have to deal with that sexual urge for very long anyway. So how come now we have to wait so long? And what if I only meet my husband when I'm like 40?! Uh, how the heck am I supposed to stay a virgin for so long?!

These thoughts were protruding my mind and I was so confused. I realised how hard Christianity can be, and yoh, I had some very tough arguments with God about how unfair He is and how He expects too much.

But then it hit me: God is good. 

He answered every single one of my queries and sent people to remind me that waiting IS possible and that I don't have to settle for less.

The whole point of my blog today isn't just about waiting for marriage, if you've already had sex, or you decided not to wait, that is SO chilled! No judgment from me at all! One of my main messages today is that I want to encourage you to NOT SETTLE FOR LESS. 

Ok, so, did God really say we must stay virgins? Well the thing is, He warns out throughout His Word about not living like the world does, but like He does. He also encourages us to not to gratify the desires of the flesh. Galatians 5:16-17 says "So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want."

 Also, lust is a sin. Whoooah I sin quite a lot there... Can't help but think some very lusty thoughts when I see some of those 6 packs at the beach!:P 

"For lust is a shameful sin, a crime that should be punished. It is a fire that burns all the way to hell. It would wipe out everything I own." Job 31:11

But the thing is, we need to pray for God to help us with that. Somebody said something quite profound to me once: every time you're looking lustily at some guy or girl, you are busy checking out somebody else's wife or husband. Would you like it if every single guy or girl who walked past check out your spouse like that? I wouldn't. He's mine. Mine, mine miiiiiiiiine :/ (haha ok I say that in the least possessive and creepy way possible!)

If you're sleeping around with ten people a night or whatever, those are people you have to tell your future spouse about, and isn't that in a sense already committing adultery? If you're destined for one person, why would you want to share that intimacy of sex with so many other people? Then what will make it special with your wife/husband? "But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart." Matthew 5:28 

(Again, I'm not writing to make you feel bad if you do have sex or whatever!)

Also, I believe God wants us to wait for our spouse for health reasons as well, especially in today's society with things like Aids and all the STDs we have just chilling around. Every person you sleep with is a more of a chance to pick something gross up. In Life Orientation at school, they've shown us pictures... Trust me, you DO NOT want your private areas to look like that!:/ 

Then secondly, is it ok in modern time not to wait because the Bible days were so long ago? No! God says numerous times in His Word that Him and His Word are NEVER changing, He is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow! (Malachi 3:6, James 1:17 and so on). He created everything and obviously He'd know what's best for the world and people He created. Plus if sex is suddenly ok out of marriage, does that mean it's ok to suddenly murder people whenever you feel like it? No! God's Words and laws are never changing, they are rocks like Him, and do not crumble. There are no terms and conditions. 

Now here's my most general and probably most applicable and important message today: DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS.

YOU are amazing! You deserve nothing less that amazing. If you are God's child, He's put a special Mark on you and it's going to take an incredible, faaaaaaar above average, amazing, wonderful, beyond what you can ever expect or imagine, man or woman to win your heart. God is this mighty loving Father, and He isn't going to allow somebody ordinary to have the heart of His son/daughter. So yes, maybe you're single now, but amazing, incredible, wonderful things take time. 

Imagine a beautiful, luxurious castle being built. It doesn't just take an hour to build. Sometimes, it takes years and years. It's the same thing with your spouse, sometimes they just need a few years to be "built" into the amazing person you deserve. And also, it's the same with you. We have to be humble and remember we aren't perfect. God is still at work within us and don't you want to honour  your spouse by being the best person you can be? 

I've recently met some inspirational couples that have shown me that amazing guys do exist out there! A good friend of mine from school as this incredible boyfriend who she's been together with for about 9 months, but dating officially for 6 or so. He still will not let her pay for a single meal. The other day, he came all the way to our school to drop off stuff he printed for her,  and then wrote her the sweetest note to tell her to be happy and to remember he loved her. He shows up to her house with flowers and biltong, he respects her like I've never seen a guy respect a woman before. He will honestly drop anything to help her. I've recently spent time with the two of them, and  I believe God did that on purpose to remind me that there ARE guys like that out there who exist. 

And for the guys, there are girls like that as well! You must just see how my friend treats him. Honestly, I believe every single guy deserves an amazing girl like her (or if you're tanned, have a 6 pack, are really Christian, can drive and earn big bucks, then you deserve an amazing girl like me in your life! ;) haha jokes!)

This is just one couple, but there are so many more: like my grandparents, my youth pastor and his wife, and so many other people who I could name who just have the most incredible relationships. 

Also, I've been privileged to come back into contact with or meet some awesome guys recently who have shown me that there are still true Christian, gentleman out there. My hope has been restored!

So please, I urge you, do not settle for less. If you are single and lonely, don't just go for the next guy or girl who comes around just because you want some loving' in your oven or whatever they say, rather wait and use your singleness to grow closer in God.

I watched a YouTube video from ChaseGodTv, and he said that your singleness is such an important ministry time. When you're married, your priority ministry is your spouse and family, but when you're single, your priority is the WORLD! There are no limits at all. In fact, Paul said it is better to be single (GET VERSE).

Ok I'm not encouraging you to give up dating all together, I Personally don't see a problem with it as long as it isn't causing you to sin or getting in the way of your relationship with God, and as long as it is Christ-centered, but just remember that being single isn't a bad thing at all. Rather look at the positives! 

So please, I urge you again, do not settle for less than what you deserve. Even if you've slept with 100000 people, or have messed up your life, or if you feel down about yourself, remember God loves you and He will forgive you no matter what, and as His child, you deserve nothing less than the best. 

"Don't be so desperate for a relationship that your spiritual life runs dry. Seek Jesus and let Him lead you. He will provide when you are ready, not lonely." @adamcappa

No, don't say it!

I had this English teacher last year, Mrs. Warrington. So my good friend, Megan, and I were walking to class when Mrs. Warrington happened to walk past us.  She stopped and asked how we were and all that usual small talk, when Megan says, "I really miss your lessons ma'am!". Obviously I needed to show appreciation as well, as per normal human behavior, so I said the first thing that came to mind: "Oh yes and I really miss your creepiness!"

Words.

Words are powerful and I don't think we comprehend how powerful they really are. You know that saying 'Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me'? I think that is such a lie! Words hurt. A LOT. Often words hurt more than just a simple punch to the face, because the pain lasts longer. Look at cyber bullying for example- those words on social media hurt the bullied person for a long time. 

I know that personally, words often stick with me, even if they weren't meant to hurt me. That's how else words are powerful- often we use them without considering the repercussions. I mean I didn't intend to offend my teacher by saying she was creepy, I just hadn't chosen my words correctly, but saying something like that can hurt (my teacher luckily laughed though!) 

Proverbs 18:21 says it beautifully, " Death and life are in the power of the tongue.." 

How many people have committed suicide because of verbal bullying? How many people have become depressed because of what people have said to them? Have you ever not done something because you're scared of what people will say?

Words can bring death, if not physically, then definitely emotionally. Please understand that it may seem "cool" to badmouth someone, but it really hurts. Matthew 7:12 urges us to do to others what we would want them do to us. So if you don't like it when people say nasty things to you, why do you do it to others? 

I've noticed women do this a lot, and I will admit it, I am a part of this gang of gossipers. If my friends make a remark about a certain teacher wearing very high pants that make it look as if that teacher has quite a bad constant wedgie, I suddenly want to remark and laugh too. Yoh, but afterwards I feel SO bad. I mean if you want to wear high wedgie pants, that is your basic human right! :D (#PositiveWords)

On the other hand, words can bring life. Now I love this! It is so true. You know that feeling when you're in some race and you feel like you're about to die; the sweat is pouring out of every nook and cranny and your lungs feel like they're about to explode, but then suddenly, you hear that "Come on *name*, you CAN do it!" Now you've got that boost to finish. 

Words are powerful, but they can be powerfully beautiful. Imagine that if every single time you thought to say something bad about someone, you said something good instead. You know, next time you see a taxi try to pull in front  of you, instead of trying to use some very colorful words to describe him, maybe say something good instead, like: "Oh yay, now at least his passengers will get there sooner." Yes, it may sound lame, but it will make you feel much calmer. 

Ephesians 4:29 says, "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

The way we talk should portray grace, and thus God as He is full of grace. Our words should build up others and motivate them, not demotivated them. Constantly throughout His Word, God tells us to love, and part of this love can be shown through what you say. If you tell someone they're fat and smelly, is that being loving? Err I don't think so... If someone said that to me, I'd probably slap them in the face!:/ (Or I'd try but then my clumsiness would kick in and I'd land up slapping  myself...)

Although words should build up, remember the verse also says "as fits the occasion". If you're In a situation like Paul was and you're on trial for God, trying to build up the judge won't help you much. I don't think the judge would appreciate you saying things like, "Ah well done! You made a verdict! I'm so proud, that's awesome! Congrats, man." We have to be strategic with our words. Although we should not downgrade others, we should also speak boldly . Just look at some of the things Jesus said! He was super bold, but never mean.

One last verse I thought was quite good is Matthew 12:37, "For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned."

To be honest that scares me a bit. It just shows how careful we have to be. Verse 36 warns us that we will have to "give account for every careless word" we speak. Just because it's funny to say something now doesn't mean that it's suddenly going to disappear. We will have to answer for every single word we speak one day. 

Imagine on Judgement Day, God holds two papers out to you: one with all the good, Godly things you've said, and one with all the nasty, sinful things you said. Wouldn't you want the Godly list to be longer than the nasty one? But often that isn't the case. Let's be honest, being nasty is often so much easier than being nice. This is why saying nice things takes a courageous person to do. Complimenting people, encouraging others, being nice to those who aren't nice to you, all of these take a serious amount of courage that not just anyone posseses. However, with God's help, anything is possible (Luke 1:37). As the saying goes, God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called. 

Therefore I challenge you this week with what I mentioned earlier: every single time you want to say something mean, say something nice instead. It won't be easy, you're going to have to be brave, but trust me, you'll be so much happier for it! Let's start changing this world, one step at a time <3 

P.S. Just some final wisdom: If you ever see a teacher who taught you previously in life, rather just say she/he was a good teacher or something like that, rather be safe than sorry! ;) 

Don't be a "Load Shedding" Christian

Imagine you're sitting there on the couch, just minding your own business and watching your favourite TV series when BAM- the power goes out.

For us here in South Africa, this is something we've all grown accustomed to in these last few weeks. Yup, that's right, it's load shedding. 

So here's the thing: Eskom is having some trouble with their power plants and hence the lights go out and we're left in darkness. 

This could sound like some bad horror movie, or, it could actually sound like Christianity.

You're probably thinking, 'What on earth is this [amazing, wonderful, awesome, inspirational, incredible ;) ] girl going on about?!'

Well think about it: how often in life is it easy to be a Christian when life is going well for us? 'Oh yes, I've got money, food, no work problems and I'm having an awesome week- God is so incredible! He's blessing me so much!'

Ahhh but then things take a turn: 'I can't afford all my bills this month, my food consists  of tuna and 2 Minute Noodles, and everyone is turning against me at work- Where is God? Does He even exist? Why's He doing this to me?'

It's moments like this when your 'light' as a Christian goes out, and this is not what God calls us to! Acts 13:47 says, "For so the Lord has commanded us, saying 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth."

God calls us to be a light to the world, to shine so that others can see Him, after all, 1 John 1:5 says "...God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all." 

If Ephesians 5:1 says, "...be imitators of God..", then does that not mean we should strive to become like God and do what He does? We should be following God, and that means 'copying' Him by being light and not darkness. 

It's the times when we have to 'fix our machinery' that we tend to give into the darkness. This isn't a joking matter. Look at how Eskom's load shedding (due to their malfunctioning power plants) is affecting people all over the country; when your light goes out, it isn't only you that is left in darkness. What about all those people in the future who you were going to touch with your light? Or what about all the people who are relying on your light right now? 

This isn't to scare you, but it is a reality: as Christians, we have people's lives relying on us. It is not an easy journey. Christianity is NOT for 'sussies'. 

We just look at Paul for example. He was an amazing man! He kept spreading the Good News, even after being beaten, jailed and stoned. 

In fact, Acts 20:19 says "I served the Lord with great humility and with tears..."

Paul served with TEARS. Usually when people cry, it's not because they're enjoying something or feeling incredibly happy. Paul went through some tough times and I think his heart sometimes broke for the people who wouldn't accept Christ. 

One thing about Paul though, is he never let them stop him. 

Acts 16:37, "But Paul said to the officers, 'They beat us publicly without a trial, even though we are Roman citizens, and threw us into prison. And now do they want to get rid of us quietly? No! Let them come themselves and escort us out."

Freak I love this man! He is so inspirational! As Christians we should not go out without a fight. The situation could be hard, but we are hardcore too! 

I love this too:

In Acts 21:27-40, Paul is arrested and beaten. Verse 35 says that "the violence of the mobs was so great he [Paul] had to be carried by the soldiers."

But did Paul let that stop him! NO! In verse 39, Paul asks the commander of the Roman army if he can speak to these people. How hectic is that! Here's this group of people rioting, trying to kill you, and you want to SPEAK to them?! I don't know about the rest of you, but I  probably would have been half way to China by then!

Better yet, Paul went on to tell his testimony- he used this to preach a solid message. He refused to let his light go out, even when the world around was trying to blow his flame out. 

So there we go. Christianity is not easy. When people around you are indulging in sin that is just so tempting, you have to say no. And frankly, sometimes it sucks. But is it worth it? Heck yeah! 

Jesus Himself warns us that our journey will not be easy. But isn't it true that the hardest journeys are usually the most worthwhile? I mean after you've done Comrades for example, that sense of achievement you  feel must be INCREDIBLE. That hard work paid off. 

And the cool thing with God, is He is always with us and His Word is always there to encourage us. 

John 16:33 says, (and I LOVE this verse), "I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." 

Woooow! If Jesus overcame the world and we are meant to be like Him, then we too should be able to overcome the world :D 

Remember, "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden." (Matthew 5:14) 

Don't hide away.

Let your light shine.

Do not let load shedding put your light out. 

"Light always trumps darkness. It always has, and it always will. Therefore... If you believe that your world is darkening...if you believe that the culture of your nation is growing dimmer by the year...don't blame it on the dark! Darkness is only doing what darkness does.

If darkness is winning the battles, my friend, it is because light is not doing its job. You are light. So wake up. Wake up."

Andy Andrews

Gym... and other places to feel God

Ok so there I was: I'd just finished gym and I was super sweaty, super smelly, and looking super gross. There had been this guy I'd been checking out the past few days, but he wasn't there that day. Was I disappointed? Yes. Was I relieved? Yes! I thought if he saw me (or smelt me) that day, he would probably never speak to me. 

So there I am, just walking out the door, listening to my music super loud and walking in that fast-paced-don't-mess-with-me gait that one normally does when walking out of gym, when suddenly, guess who was walking into gym?! 

Out of all the days to choose to acknowledge me, it had to be that one. He looked at me in the eye (yup, I even got butterflies), then smiled and said hello. So what did I do? Obviously my awkwardness came into play: instead of saying hello like a normal person, I grunted. Yup, you read right. My cave woman tendencies chose to show up and I GRUNTED. And not even a cute feminine grunt (well if you can classify a grunt as feminine), it was a loud, throaty, gross man grunt. He even got a "Oh damn she's crazy look" in his eye, so I turned around and ran down the stairs. Ah, trust me to make matters worse.

So obviously I was feeling pretty embarrassed, and to be honest, I wasn't feeling very Christian either. I was all "God why weren't You there? Why didn't You send your Holy Spirit to suddenly make me irresistible so he'd fall in love with me and whisk me away on a white horse to live the rest of our days on a paradise island with our millions of beautiful kids and monkey friends who would bring us bananas as gifts?". 

And then I had a fleeting thought (trust me, I'm not proud of it): I thought well maybe God wasn't with me with me because I wasn't at church, and that's where we feel God right? WRONG! 

Here's where this is going: 

How often in life do we have that mindset that says "I'm only going to feel God at church", or "Oh, I won't read my Bible tonight because you only really feel God at church anyway."

Well, prepare to get your mind blown.

Are you ready? 

Here it comes:

Acts 7:48 says, "However, the Most High does not live in houses made by men."

Such a simple statement, yet so powerful at the same time. God is huge and powerful and amazing, and frankly, four walls are unable to contain Him.

 Acts 7:49 even says "Heaven is My throne, and the earth My footstool." Now you may have thought earth was pretty big, right? Well actually, we are small. We are minuscule, tiny, puny (I'm hoping all these synonyms of small will get the message across about how small we are!)

All right, so we get the picture that God is pretty big right? Well in Psalm 33:13-15, it says, "From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth- He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do." And then Acts 17:27 says, "God did this so that man would seek Him and perhaps reach out for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us." 

Now here's this big, powerful, all mighty God, who cannot even be contained in a building, yet He CHOOSES to sit on His throne and watch YOU. He is looking after you and He is near to you, He considers everything that you do. That brings me to my next verse: Acts 7:49 "What kind of house will you build for Me?' Says the Lord".

(I'm feeling like I'm pretty all over the place, but I promise this will make sense)

Basically, if you've been using that excuse that you don't want to read your Bible or pray or something because "God is only felt at church", you better hit that excuse right out of the ball park because it ISN'T TRUE (and we know how God is super keen on truth. In fact He says in John 8:44 that lies are the native language of the devil and that Jesus is the way, the TRUTH and the life in John14:6).

So stop lying to yourself, God is with you every single day and He is watching you, as we read in Psalms. God considers what you are doing, so the way you act is not a secret from Him. In fact, He considers it, He thinks about it and is interested in it.

Now if God is so big and powerful and is busy taking His time, when He could be jolling with the Angels, to watch and care over you, shouldn't we also be making time for Him outside of church that we attend once or twice a week? 

I understand that life is busy, I'm in matric this year and right now I'm struggling to find time to breath, but the thing is, God understands that too. If you only have half an hour a day to spend with Him, that's better than spending no time at all. Christians often complain that they "don't feel God" or that they "aren't growing stronger in their relationship with God", but often, that's because they aren't spending time with Him.

The Bible often compares the church to a bride and groom, or a marriage (Ephesians 5:23, Revelations 19:7-9, 2 Corinthians 11:2, Isaiah 54:5 and so on) . Let's say you have this amazing spouse; if you never talk to your spouse or never take an interest in his/her life, how will you grow closer as a couple? In the same way, how will you grow closer to God or experience Him more if you aren't taking the time to learn more about Him or spend time with Him?

In Acts 7:49, as mentioned above, God poses the question, "What kind of house will you build for Me?" 

Seeing as God "does not live in houses made by human hands" (Acts 7:48), obviously He is everywhere and around us always, so the house we are building for Him is a spiritual one. Are you going to build Him a spacious house with plenty of space to learn  and grow, having rooms filled with encounters with Him, knowledge of Him and His Word, and closeness with Him? A house with a foundation made purely of the Word and His statutes? A foundation literally based on 'the Rock'?

Or are you building another kind of house, a house built on sand? A house made of a weak faith where God's Word isn't the pure foundation? A house that can falter or fall down at any moment? 

Don't be a "stiff-necked people" who "always resist the Holy Spirit" (Act 7:51). Rather embrace the Holy Spirit by spending time with God. I can promise you that it will be life changing. When God works in you, the outcome can't be anything but amazing! 

Don't confine God only to church, that's almost an insult. He is so powerful that He can do anything. Luke 1:37 says, "For nothing is impossible with God." NOTHING :/ Get ready to pass boundaries you never thought possible. With God, not even the sky is the limit!! 

Spend time with God, indulge in His Word and prepare to see things you never thought possible <3 

"Spending time with God puts everything else in perspective."

P.S. Don't forget that He is always with you, even if you're embarrassing yourself in front of cute boys! (Sometimes I wonder if He sits in heaven and has bit of a giggle... I definitely would :P ) 

P.P.S. Psalm 139 is really great to read about God being close to you and not being able to flee from His presence <3