Stolen Happiness

Are you happy?

Truly happy?

Think about it.

I think true happiness goes beyond that laugh when you're with friends; that smile when you talk to a cashier; that banter when you speak to someone you've known for years. True happiness isn't a physical trait (like a smile or laugh), however, it shows itself in expression.

I believe you can only tell you're truly happy when you're alone. There's no point only being happy when you're with other people: let's face it, people can be annoying- you may need space. Other than that, they may need space from you. In my case, I am at such a high degree of awesome that normal, mere mortals are unable to handle it and  need time away from me so  they don't explode or melt or something (okay, okay, maybe it's just because I can get super hyper and weird and that tends to scare people off ! )

Now I'm no Oprah or Dr Phil, I don't have the magic formula to help you be happy. At the end of the day, true happiness comes from reliance on God and your own personal choice, but I am here to say something I have come to believe is one of the most important lessons I've learnt while wandering this beautiful earth for 19 years:

DO NOT LET ANYTHING (and I mean ANYTHING!!!!) STEAL YOUR HAPPINESS.

Want to know something amazing?

You have the RIGHT to be happy. No person or situation can take happiness away from you unless you allow it.

Now I know you probably think "Easier said than done", but you know what: that's what annoys me about the human race. We over-complicate EVERYTHING! How on earth are we supposed to enjoy these short lives we have on earth if we keep analyzing every little thing? I'm not saying go isolate yourself from humanity, live on a beach and survive on the local delicacies of snakes and coconuts (although the beach part doesn't sound too bad...), but remember to chill every now and again and not to worry or analyze things that don't require it. Life should have a balance.

Okay, enough with my rant, but seriously: your happiness is YOURS- own it. Sometimes things won't go your way. Even Jesus says in John 17:33 that "in this world you WILL have trouble". Life isn't supposed to be easy, otherwise how would you learn and grow and make memories? Growth can be painful, but at the end of the day, growth is necessary (can't stay in diapers forever you know.... Althooooough imagine not having to get up at 2AM and actually have to walk to the bathroom...) .

I've said this many times, but your attitude determines your response to a situation. If something bad happens and you choose to be negative and all "I hate my life" and "Why did this have to happen to me", then odds are you're going to lose happiness. I don't know about you, but I hate losing (hence my first year  #GAINNNNZZZZZ). Don't give into your situation, rather, look for solutions to your problems. Solutions aren't always easy to find, but I promise you every problem has a way to solve it (sometimes that involves ignoring it until it disappears by itself #UniversityLife).

Also, you aren't meant to handle things alone:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor." Ecclesiastes 4:9 

"Don’t be afraid, because I’m with you; don’t be anxious, because I am your God. I keep on strengthening you; I’m truly helping you. I’m surely upholding you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Plus I'm sure you have at least one friend (if not,just get a puppy or a really big teddy), and ask them for advice. Another thing I've learnt, ASK AN ADULT. It's not as lame as it sounds! Surprisingly, adults tend to be quite smart about a lot of things; you know, probably because they've  been through exactly what you're going through. Also remember that whatever you're facing, you are not the only one! After reading Stellies Confessions and chatting to girls in res, I realised that a lot of the things I've struggled with, many people are struggling with too! Form a group, get in touch and work through things together.

Then people.

Do not let people steal your happiness.

This is so tough because people can be so, so, so mean and selfish. That's brutal but it's true. I won't lie, I can be very selfish. You just try and disturb me during one of my very intensive series times, and I may just bite you. Yup, that's how next level I am. I don't care if you're dying from stomach pains, need help with a question or are here to bring me a gift, I'm sure there's a doctor near by, Google has tons of knowledge and - woah, okay if it's a gift then you're more than welcome to disturb me :)

Sometimes I think people are so unhappy in themselves that when they see happiness in another person, they don't like it. Let's be real: unhappiness is so much better when you're not the only one feeling it. Imagine I was really angry at someone and wanted to complain to a friend: if my friend agreed and said stuff like, "OH ME GAWSH SHE'S SUCH A COW!!" or "THAT JALAPEÑO - SMELLING FOOT FUNGI!!!", I'd feel so much better about myself than if she said, "Oh shame" or "Don't worry, she probably didn't mean it". Like come on, I know I'm probably being irrational but work with me here :/ 

Things are better experienced in groups, that's why you fight as an army or go jolling with friends (dancing alone is awwwkies, but total respect if you can do it!#TeachMeeeee)

If someone is causing you to be unhappy, TELL THEM. Communication is key. You don't have to be mean about it, but sometimes someone may not realize how they are making you feel. If communication doesn't work, it may be time to cut them out of your life. Think about it: do you really want to spend some of your few years here unhappy because of people? If you're unhappy in a place, MOVE if you can't make it work for you. If people are belittling or saddening you, find new friends. Personally, I'd rather have one or two good friends that make me feel positive and happy, than a whole group of people who just make me depressed all the time.

I cannot emphasize how short life is. You never know when it will be taken away from you. Just make the most of every single moment and don't have regrets. You are not here to please other people, you are here to please God. Stop living in the shadows of other people and BE the frigging sun!!! Happiness is infectious. You could help so many other people by openly spreading your happiness around. Be the Santa Clause of happiness this Christmas season ;) 

Laugh! If you find things funny, laugh. It doesn't matter if it isn't another person's sense of humor. Trust, ask my friends, I often say or see things that I find insanely hilarious, whereas those around me think I may just be a little bit crazy...

Like right now the airplane is having turbulence but you know what I want to do?

LAUGH! (Okay in this case not because it's funny, just because I'm freaking out a little bit, I'm an unattractive crier and there's a cute guy in the seat near me #MayBeNearDeathButStillGottaLookFresh)

Anyway, so sorry if this is long, plane rides get my mind going!

But in essence, be happy. Look for solutions instead of problems and surround yourself with positivity, not negativity.

Remember, you only live once.

(Yup, I went there #YOLO)

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband

I am so excited to finally meet you… Or wait, maybe I’ve met you already!
It’s so fun to imagine what you’d be like: will you be tall, dark and handsome? Or maybe you’ll be that blonde beach boy type guy. Who knows, maybe you’ll be one of those proper little nerds that my brother would tease me about (here’s hoping you’ll be a lekker Afrikaans boytjie, I don’t think I could handle years of being chuned for marrying a “soutjie”! :P )

I’ve got this idea in my head of what I’d like personality-wise: the usual kind, generous, outgoing, fun to talk to, romantic, good sense of humour etc etc, but deeper than that; you’ll be this amazing Christian guy who will help bring me closer to God, you will be able to have random fun with me (yup, cause I can get a bit weird sometimes :P ), but also serious and deep. I’d like to think we’d never run out of things to talk about, and when we are silent, it’s that comfortable sort of silence where there isn’t really a need to say anything. 

Just like my grandparents, I imagine us to have that type of love where we can spend every single day together for years and not get bored with one another (now this is a miracle for me because I tend to need space even from those I love the most sometimes :P #NoOffenseMeant).

I think of you as leading me in life, but at the same time, not stepping over me or keeping me in a box. You will help me reach my potential, without “parenting” over me so to say. We will grow together, and together we will achieve the impossible. You’ll support me and encourage me, you will motivate me to achieve my heart’s desires even when all the odds are against me. You will really listen to what I say (this is probably an impossible wish because I talk waaaaaay too much) and respect my opinion.

You will be the guy that my parents prayed I’d meet, and even though they can’t physically be there along our journey, you will still want to know about them and my brother and my childhood when I used to be a drama queen and tomboy who hated wearing girly things.
I know that we will face tough times and it’s unrealistic to think that life will be a bed of roses, but I also know that we will have a passionate, God-fueled relationship that will equip us to climb even the toughest mountains, despite maybe stumbling on some rocks along the way.

Hunter Haye’s song “I Want Crazy” sums it up perfectly for me:

But I don’t want good and I don’t want good enough

I want can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you love…

Front porch and one more kiss,

It doesn’t make sense to anybody else.

Who cares if you’re all I think about?

I’ve searched the world and I know now

It ain’t right if you ain’t lost your mind

I don’t want easy, I want crazy…

(Hopefully you like music and terrible singing, because my shower voice isn’t one to phone home about :P)

Now I could go on and on and on (I’m a hopeless romantic, so I’ve put tons of thought into how we will meet, how you’ll propose and you know, all those basic girly thoughts ;) ), but I have to stop myself and think. How can I expect all this from you but not give thought as to how I am as a person? That feels like horrible English, but hopefully the meaning still comes across.

It feels like when I think of you, I think of Superman in a sense. Is it fair to expect a “superman” when I, myself, am just a normal human being who makes mistakes, gets moody for no apparent reason and has several annoying habits that would drive even the sanest person crazy? Life isn’t like the movies, it’s sad, but it’s true.

Relationships take hard work and sacrifice, and sometimes we do need to be a bit vulnerable and take risks. I imagine this love that stops time, that has me feeling on a constant cloud 9, but at the end of the day, I’ve seen even the most loving couples have clashes and go through hard times. But then I think about it, we serve a pretty amazing God who tells us in Psalm 37:4 that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart.

Because of that, I refuse to accept mediocrity. I refuse to settle for anything less than the best. But not just in regard to you, in regard to myself as well. Life is hard, university is tough, but just like David refused to shy away from Goliath, I refuse to shy away from any challenge in my life. Your happiness depends largely on your attitude, and if a person is going to have a negative attitude, odds are that that person’s life isn’t going to be one filled with butterflies and roses. 

The best things in life take hard work. It takes sacrifice and perseverance. The moment we start giving into mediocrity is the moment we do not achieve the destiny we were meant for. Just like me, you have an AMAZING future ahead of you, one that will make even the greatest names in history SHIVER IN THEIR BOOTS. I am excited. I am passionate. I am going to live life to the fullest.

On my way to meeting you, I am going to prepare myself to be a wife that you can be proud of. However, one thing I have learnt, I will not be happy with you until I am happy in myself.

Being happy in yourself is easier said than done, but if you do not love yourself, it is really difficult to love others. Why else would Mark 12:31 tell us that the second greatest commandment is to love others as you love yourself? It finally makes sense to me! One day when we sit under the stars and really dive into one another’s pasts, I will tell you how important it is that this finally makes sense, but so long just trust me. If you are unhappy with who you are as a person, mediocrity will stay with you.

I need to stop limiting myself to achieving average goals.

I am not an average girl, and neither are you an average boy.

Life is tough, but we are tougher.

Maybe I’m looking at life with a fairytale kind of view, but like Will Smith said:

“Being realistic is the common path to mediocrity.”

So just in closing, know that I back you- you can do whatever you set your mind to.
Don’t look back in a few years and wish that you’d started sooner.

There is no better time than right this second.

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Michaela <3

Are we there yet?

It was the first time I was driving to Durban without an adult in the car. For those of you who know me, you'll know how terrible my geography skills are. Honestly, I'm surprised I don't get lost walking from my room to the bathroom (the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, just saying).
So my best friend and I decided we needed a beach day- two girls driving alone to UShaka Beach, where we have been MILLIONS of times before; what could possibly go wrong?
Well, firstly, the driver could take the wrong turn off and end up heading towards Scottburgh.
Secondly, the two best friends could be jamming so much to music that they don't realise they're ending up in some dodgy area with lots of litter and minimal people.
Thirdly, the driver could start having a stress attack (yup, we all know how I over-worry...) and be near tears while the passenger laughs and says "Calm down bru, we can just do a U-turn" (yes, because doing a U-turn in a totally dodge Durban area on a highway is the best possible solution).
Anyway, needless to say, that was the most stressful trip to Durban I have EVER had and relaxing in the sun was MUCH needed after that! Despite the dangerous journey, we eventually arrived there safely.
Did I kiss the ground and shout thanks at the heavens?
Maybe.

Often this is how life is. We are so busy cruising through life that we forget there will come times when the journey is terrifying, dangerous, uncomfortable; and often in those times, we lash out and blame others, our situation or even God. But think about it: how boring would life be if the road to our final destination was always straight and calm?
Even in my opening story, the journey to the beach was HORRIBLE. I panic so easily and end up making myself sick, but after we arrived, it was actually really funny.
Maybe you're in a place now that's hard and stressful, but keep going on- drive ahead and DON'T MAKE THAT U-TURN! Growth isn't meant to be easy or comfortable, why else would it be called "growing pains"?
If we keep wanting to drive back to the beginning of our journey, it'll just take longer to reach the right destination. Now I'm not saying that's always bad, sometimes it's better to make sure you'll get there safely in one piece, rather than to get there quickly but full of regrets.
As it says in Proverbs 3:5-6,"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight."
When we rely on our own understanding, that's when we end up taking the wrong turn off and ending up towards Scottburgh instead of UShaka.
It's okay to not always understand what's going on; it's okay to not have everything worked out. Romans 8:28 says that God works everything out for the good of those who love Him. It's unrealistic to have everything worked out for yourself- life is filled with mishaps and inconsistency, but if you remember that no matter what, God wants you to have good, not bad, it really gives you a different perspective.
Now I know sometimes it feels like "Why would God let this happen to me?", but at those times, you need to look at your own actions. It's unfair to steal a car, get arrested and then say "Why would the police do this to me?” For every action, there is a consequence, and at the end of the day God did give us free will, so what we decide to do will bring its own outcomes and we are the ones responsible for that.
Furthermore, if you don't have it all figured it, remember Jeremiah 29:11 where God says He KNOWS the plans He has for us. He has a plan for your life, you just need to ask Him to let Him show you where to go.
Stop relying on people or things-they don't last forever. Malachi 3:6 says that God DOES NOT change. Isn't it more beneficial to rely on the One Thing that stays constant no matter what, instead of the worldly things that can change on a moment's notice?

Psalm 146:3 warns us, “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.” At the end of the day, we are only human. Humans make mistakes and I can guarantee you, if you rely on people for your happiness, you’ll never really be happy, and you may end up going on the complete wrong road. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Don’t be lead off the path you’re meant to go because of the people you choose to surround yourself with. You may miss out on an incredible future.

Please hear my heart. Don’t give up just because the journey is tough. Exams are horrible, work can be depressing, people can be annoying and life can just throw curveballs your way 24/7, but just know that God has a plan and I like to believe there is a reason for everything. When my parents and younger brother died, it wasn’t something I could have ever imagined happening to me, but at the end of the day, it did happen and that’s life. No one said it would be easy. Jesus Himself says, “… In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33). Ah, but then comes the hope, that one, sweet piece of joy in a world filled with unhappiness and negativity: “However, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’- the things God has prepared for those who love Him”.

God has such amazing things in store for YOU. Yes, YOU. I don’t know what’s going on in your life at the moment or what you’re struggling with, but I can promise you this: if you trust it to God and have faith, it will turn out even better than okay. In fact, you will look back and laugh.

“For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” Psalm 91:11.

God’s got your back. He is the best GPS you will ever find- He will never, ever let you go the wrong way as long as you decide to trust His guidance.

So are you ready?

Are you ready to experience a future like none you could have ever imagined?

Again, Dr Seuss says it perfectly,

“Congratulations!
Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

Any direction you choose…

With your head full of brains and

Your shoes full of feet,

You’re too smart to go down

Any not-so-good street….

OH!

THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

Moments

Moments

One thing this year has definitely taught me is that life is full of moments: moments of happiness, moments of sadness, moments of laughs and moments of crying. All these beautiful moments combine to give us that beautiful thing we call “life”.

One critical thing about a moment is that it doesn’t last forever. The amazing invention of google search defines ‘moment’ as “a very brief period of time”. Yes, sometimes you’ll feel down and sometimes things may not seem easy, but just like a moment, it won’t last forever. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. Everything that happens in life has a designated time which, sadly, we have no control over. Verse 4 goes on to say, “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”. Each moment in life requires a different response, and I absolutely love that part about a time to dance. Yes, we will have depressing moments, but there will also come times of happiness, excitement, pure joy and gladness that no one will be able to take away from you. Think about a memory that makes you instantly smile, a memory that warms you belly and makes you see the good in life again. This sad moment you may be in now won’t last forever, soon you will be able to replace it with another happy moment that makes you want to dance and sing and, to put it bluntly, act like a crazy person!

Sometimes things seem so horrible that we train our minds to think of it as long-lasting, and that causes quite a gloomy outlook on your future. However, another important thing this year has taught me is the sheer power of the mind, as well as your attitude. By perceiving something as ruining your future, odds are, it probably will. But wait: there is a solution! It’s called changing your mind set- which will then end up changing your attitude. If you’re going to look at everything negatively, you’re going to attract negative vibes (hehe the Durban hippie is starting to show in me…). Your attitude and your mind set go hand in hand, and they will determine how you approach life’s moments. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The world can be a nasty place, so don’t lower your standards to fit into it! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING- now before you deny it, can I just say SHUT UP:/ Sorry for being rude, but at the end of the day you are beyond amazing and if you don’t believe it, you are going to let the world and its “negative vibes” get to you. Start filling your mind with positive thoughts, happy memories and constructive ideas. If something is making you unhappy, forget about it- or at least don’t constantly think about it because you will make it worse. You are literally feeding those bad thoughts so that they can grow and consume you. A practical example is from a book I read a few years ago: the author said that she was single for a few years and used to get super depressed watching RomComs or reading romance novels because it made her feel more single than ever. So you know what she did? She stopped filling her mind with idealistic romance views- she stopped watching those movies and reading those books and concentrated on allowing God to write her love story. This is just an example, but hopefully you get the idea. Something my aunt suggested at the beginning of the year when I was struggling with a bit of low self-esteem, is she said I should write positive aspirations about myself and read them every morning when I wake up and just before I go to bed. It worked! I also stuck up some Bible verses (like Song of Songs 4:7, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”) to remind myself that I am PERFECT in God’s eyes and I need to live in a way that shines my inner beauty instead of hiding it. Needless to say, I am now faaaaaaaaaaar happier!

Furthermore, your mind set and attitude is often a direct influence of the people you choose to surround yourself with. Do not waste your few, precious moments in life with people who are going to steal your joy. Moments are precious! Appreciate them and use them to the best of your ability. Just some Bible verses on that:
Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Then Proverbs 18:24, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 22:24-25, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”
1 Corinthians 15:33, Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.“

There are several more verses but I hope those give you a basic idea; who you choose to surround yourself greatly determines the path you will end up going down. If you surround yourself with wise, mature individuals, odds are you will end up that way too, but if you surround yourself with unreliable people who aren’t what we would call “the cream of the crop”, you may miss out on fully becoming the amazing, inspiring, wonderful person you are meant to become. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t be influenced by those around you in a negative way. Life is so short. It is so, so short. I have seen life taken away in a few minutes- when you close your eyes they’re alive, but once you open your eyes again, they’re gone. Do not fall into the trap of a mediocre life! We do not serve a mediocre God. He is great and mighty and all-powerful, and if you allow Him to, He will make sure your life exceeds your expectations tenfold.

Live life to the fullest, do not look back and regret silly decisions and missed opportunities. I’m not saying “YOLO” everything, there needs to be a balance, but remember to HAVE FUN. Life is too short to constantly be worrying and stressing and miserable. I’m pretty sure God has a sense of humor (I mean He lets Donald Trump walk around with hair like that!), so let Him help you have fun while you tackle this huge obstacle of life. Do not take a single moment for granted- even the tough ones. Life is what you make of it, so make it the best you can. Remember Jesus says in Mark 9:23, “Everything is possible for one who believes.” So go and show life what you’re made of. You can do this. You can make it through. You, my friend, can be extraordinary- just believe it and then do your best to live it.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!

No Longer A Slave

Dictionary.com defines slave as “a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person”.

Throughout history, there have been several accounts of slave labour and revolutions to stop it, but, unfortunately, we still see cases of slavery today. However, this modern slavery isn’t always the I-own-you-so-work-for-me-or-I’ll-whip-you type of slavery: it’s more of a slavery to the world and worldly influences.
Think about it: just because you aren’t being auctioned off at some farm on a Sunday doesn’t mean you aren’t a slave to something in life. There are the ‘hardcore’ cases, like being a slave to drugs or alcohol, but often we are slaves to something that may not seem like such a big deal, when in fact, they are actually a huge deal. In all honesty, I’m a slave to body image and because of that, I’ve done many stupid things and made myself very unhappy- which brings me to my next point: have you ever met a happy slave?
Well if slaves were “happy”, then I don’t think people would be trying so hard to eradicate slavery. I mean come on, being forced to clean somebody’s toilet is not my definition of a fun Saturday night!
Those things in life that have ownership over you will also try to eradicate your happiness; let’s face it: the devil can’t have happy Christians! Imagine Christians were happy 100% of the time: then he’d have no chance of ever getting them to renounce their faith.

Being a slave means something has complete control over your life, and I don’t know about you, but I don’t like the idea of something, other than God, controlling my life. It just makes life that much harder. Think about it: what are you a slave to? Money? Material possessions? What people think of you? Work? There are so many things in life that will try to steal your joy; that will try to possess and overcome you and stop you from becoming the person you’re meant to be. When you’re a slave, you’re under confinement and that confinement limits you from reaching your full potential. Not only that, it limits you from fully enjoying and experiencing life and from fully growing closer to those around you. Now maybe you’re thinking ‘she doesn’t know what she’s talking about, money (or whatever you’re a slave to) makes me very happy’. Can I just say one thing?

WAKE UP.

If happiness means harming yourself (either emotionally or physically in some way) and ruining relationships with those around you, then surely no one will want to be happy. Life is so much more and God has so much more in store for us, but we limit ourselves from experiencing that.

Getting out of slavery isn’t an easy thing to do: it is painful, stressful and likely to cause a few scraps and bruises, but the end result is SO worth it. Look at the Israelites for example. They were under slavery in Egypt and were being treated absolutely horribly, but with God’s help they got freedom. However, they renounced that freedom and grumbled when having to walk to the Promised Land, saying it would be better if they could go back into slavery, which meant that God made them wander 40 years in the desert (you can read about this in Exodus).

There are three important lessons that I gather from this:
Firstly, slavery is unpleasant, it will only end up hurting you as I discussed earlier. Exodus 1:14 says, “They [the Egyptians] made their lives bitter with harsh labor in brick and mortar and with all kinds of work in the fields; in all their harsh labor the Egyptians worked them ruthlessly.”
Being a slave may just end up in life becoming harsh and bitter: even if you don’t see the effects right now, they normally do come back to bite you in the bum…

Secondly, God wants His people to be very! I mean come on, He sent ten hectic plagues so that the pharaoh would free His people! If that’s not making an effort to free your people, then I don’t know what is. Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
Jesus came so we no longer had to be slaves, but it is our own choice to live in that freedom. You have to decide if you’re willing to become free and make the effort to stay free. When things got tough, the Israelites wanted to return to slavery: Numbers 14:4 says, “And they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.”’
The thing is, life isn’t going to be easy and the Bible doesn’t tell us that it will be. Sometimes you’ll overcome something, like an addiction maybe, and then something will happen and your first instinct will be to turn back. From personal experience, I know it’s not worth it to turn back because you’ll probably just end up worse. Imagine God was all, “You Israelites are annoying Me. Just go back if you’re going to be PMSing so much”. I think the Egyptians would have treated them a million times worse. Also, another point to remember is this: you know that saying about looking at the past through “rose-tinted” glasses? Sometimes when you overcome something and think back about it, it doesn’t seem so bad any more. DO NOT GIVE INTO THAT WAY OF THINKING :/ (I hope the capitals emphasize my seriousness! :P) Yes, life may be tough now, but that doesn’t mean going back to the old way of doing things will be any easier. Life is a journey and all journeys will have their ups and downs: you just have to be willing to persevere up those uphills, no matter how sweaty and tired you get, otherwise you’ll miss out on the great view.

Lastly, the Promised Land. Again with journey analogy, we are all working towards something: eternity with God. Yes, life is tough and difficult, but it can also be fun and wonderful. Someone said something very wise to me this week: You can’t control people’s actions, but you can control your reaction. Things will happen in life that may be unpleasant, but it’s your attitude towards it that will make all the difference. Some things in life will try to control and overtake you, but at the end of the day, it’s your choice to let it. Life is a journey to heaven and this journey isn’t very long- maybe 80 years or so generally. If you think about it, it’s actually pointless to worry about every simple things and allow yourself to be unhappy because, at the end of the day, we’re all just going to die anyway. Make your life one to remember- that legendary type of life that when you get to heaven, God greets you with a fist pump and bottle of champagne while the angels clap and shake their heads in pure wonder. Make memories, create friendships and live every single day with meaning.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

God wants you to be happy, blessed and to live in joy so He will do all that He can to ensure you get to live that way (He may even send a few plagues!), but remember, it’s YOUR decision to live that way. So here’s my challenge: write down a little note to yourself and stick it somewhere you’ll see it. Write: My name is XYZ and I am no long a slave to ABC!!!!!!!!!! (the exclamation marks just give it that dramatic effect ;) ) Then make sure you PRAY. Prayer is so, so, so powerful and the moment you pray and really give it to God, He’ll do all He can to honour you in that (another lesson I learnt this week!)

So come on. Stop being a slave. YOU ARE FREE. Live in freedom and make your life one to remember.

I dare you. 

(Just some extra quotes I found quite cool)

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17

"If you look to others for fulfilment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on money, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you." Lao Tzu

"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." John 8:36

Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it." Greg Anderson

"You, my brothers and sisters, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the flesh; rather, serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”' Galatians 5:13-14

"Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling." Margaret Lee Runbeck

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 <3

Undeserving

Undeserving.

"I am a mess up. I don't deserve the amazing boyfriend I have, I don't deserve the love that my family so unconditionally has for me. I don't deserve the constant support of my good friends and most of all: I don't deserve the amazing, wonderful Grace that our loving God so passionately pours out. "

How many times have you felt that way? As if everyone around you seems to be okay but inside you just feel broken, incomplete, and dare I say it, unworthy.

Well can I tell you something?

Now this is mind blowing so prepare yourself. 

OK, ready? 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Did you know even Jesus' closest followers, his apostles, felt unworthy at times?

"But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus' feet, saying, "Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!" Luke 5:8

"For I am the least of the apostles, and not fit to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God." 1 Corinthians 15:9 (this was Paul)

"As for me, I baptize you with water for repentance, but He who is coming after me is mightier than I, and I am not fit to remove His sandals; He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire." Matthew 3:11 (John the Baptist)

Even a centurion, who would have been well-respected in those times, felt unworthy:

"But the centurion said, "Lord, I am not worthy for You to come under my roof, but just say the word, and my servant will be healed." Matthew 8:8

Now yes, it's true: we are not worthy of God's grace. We sin, we don't love and we tend to put Him on the side burner quite often in life, but do you know what? HE LOVES YOU ANYWAY.

I think we are far too hard on ourselves as people, and at the end of the day, it's not worth it. The world constantly throws hardship your way: we are forever surrounded by negativity, hardship, turmoil, brokenness and lies- so why make it worse by hating on yourself?  Especially when you have no reason for it?

If your amazing partner loves you, it's because he/she chooses to; it's THEIR decision so just accept it. If you have a family that loves you, instead of trying to deflect that love at every opportunity, appreciate it! You don't know how blessed you are to have a family, let alone one that loves you so much. There are people out there who do not have that blessing- imagine doing life without family support; seriously I think it must be so, so, so difficult.  Then your friends- again, they CHOOSE to be friends with you. Appreciate that as well because there are people who really do find making good, true friends a difficult thing to do.

Then with God:

Yes, we don’t deserve His grace; we mess up, we sin, we throw Him aside, but you know what? He loves you anyway. And I’m not just saying that. So often people feel they can’t go to God because they’re too “messed up” or maybe they believe they’re unworthy of God’s grace because they’ve done too much wrong, or sinned too much. Well let’s turn to the Bible, the place where we can fully experience God’s thoughts:

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." Matthew 10:29-31

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?” Matthew 6:26

“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” Isaiah 43:4

“See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me.” Isaiah 49:16

“…whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” John 6:37

“God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are...” 1 Corinthians 1:28

This is only a handful of verses, but there are so many more that just show how passionately God loves us, despite our unworthiness. To Him, YOU are NOT unworthy. You are worth more than many sparrows, God personally numbered the hairs on your head; in other words, the way He chose to make you isn’t random. Something we spoke about in home group last night was just how God uses you the way He made you, you don’t suddenly have to make a complete turnaround! For example, one girl shared that she was quite shy and she always felt she had to be more outgoing in order to truly do God’s work and this was very difficult for her. However, she attended a church camp and got a prophesy about how God would use her, despite her shyness; in fact, that will be exactly how He uses her! 

If you’re very bubbly or very academic or very sporty or maybe just lazy (haha me every weekend and before every test!), God will use that to make His plan complete! Like the saying goes, God does call the equipped, He equips the called.
Just to add to that, God bought you at a price. Think about it: if you don’t want something, why would you buy it? It’s not like I’m going to walk into Spar and say, “Oh boy! I hate Brussel sprouts! Might as well spend my entire salary buying as much of it as I can though.” NO! :/ You buy what you want to buy. God wants you despite your insecurities, blemishes and sin. Yes, He wants you to be pure and righteous, but the great thing about God is that He is so willing to help you and support you. Honestly, He’s that Dad who sits on the sidelines with a big foam finger and sign saying “GO *NAME * GO!”
 Just look at Isaiah 41:10:

“So do not fear, for I am with you;

do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you and help you;

I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

God will strengthen you and help you. He knows life is tough and that we don’t always have anything all together, but with the kind of love He has for us, He is more than willing to patiently support you on your earth journey. You are more valuable to Him than “the birds of the air”. Look at what good care He takes of them; He’ll take even better care of you, just allow Him to.

Then this verse I just LOVE:
“Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” Isaiah 43:4

You may feel unworthy, ugly, too fat, too thin, too indecisive, not good enough, broken or anything like that, but that is NOT how God sees you. When God looks at you, all He sees is this beautiful, amazing human being that is so, so precious and beloved to Him. The definition for precious is: “of great value; not to be wasted or treated carelessly.”
God sees great value in you, He doesn’t want your life to be wasted and He knows that you deserve to be treated with care, so don’t let other people put you down; you are honestly worth more than what society tells you.  In fact, you are worth so much that God will even give nations in exchange for YOUR life. Wow. 

You are engraved on the palms of His hands; and as far as I know, engravings are pretty permanent, just like His love for you. God will not drive you away, no matter how unworthy you believe you are. He is there, waiting. Literally, His arms are so open for you right now! He wants to heal your pain: Psalm 34:18 : “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
Trust me, God will help you so much more than any Dr Phil, bottle of alcohol or happy pill ever could.

Lastly, even if you feel unworthy, know that God sees you with such love it outweighs the unworthiness. In fact, He even chooses the lowly and despised things of the world (1 Corinthians 1:28). Even some of the most world-changing disciples came from turbulent histories: killing Christians, lying, cheating, murdering and even then turning their backs on Jesus when He needed them most. If God was able to love them, surely He is able to love.

So stop being so hard on yourself. You DO deserve an amazing, incredible, wonderful and blessed life. Yes, it won’t always be easy and, yes, you will have difficulty but the key is you have to allow yourself to feel happy. If you keep focussing on the negatives about yourself, your whole outlook on the world will become negative, too. Just an idea someone wise once shared with me, write down some positive aspirations you have for yourself and just read them every morning before you start the day or whenever you feel down- just as a little reminder that you are, in actual fact, quite extraordinary.

As inspired by Matric English teacher, I thought it apt to end off with a Dr Zeuss quote:

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you!