Guard Your Heart

Hearts are funny things.

They’re actually very small compared to other body parts, yet have the biggest impact. I know scientifically a heart is just there to pump blood and keep everything going, kind of like a car engine (obviously I spent too much time with my brother in the holiday! :P ), but metaphorically it is so much more.

Hearts symbolise love and affection; emotion. Often people tell us to “follow our hearts” or “listen to our hearts”, as if the heart knows what we truly desire. Then we get the flip of the coin: the broken hearts. When someone hurts you, you’re let down or disappointed, we often say that our heart is broken. Trust, this is not a lekker feeling, as I’m sure most of us know. Often, to avoid feeling this “unlekker” feeling in the future again, we tend to close ourselves off or stop taking chances, just in case.

However, getting hurt isn’t something to run away from. No matter what, even if you close yourself up in some sort of bubble of protection, we will get hurt. Maybe a boy or girl will break your heart, maybe family or friends will disappoint you, maybe your pet will bite you and break your heart (and probably your wallet after you have to go for a tetanus shot). Sometimes we will get hurt and often it will be by situations beyond our control, but if we keep trying to run away from hurt, we will miss out on so many beautiful things along the way,

Think about it: imagine you are on this awesome road trip, but just an hour after you’ve left, the engine packs up and needs to be fixed. Now you have to postpone the road trip another week and get the engine fixed: not only does this cost money that you could have used to buy another whey protein or a giant box of lindt (depending on your preference :P), now you need to postpone this exciting road trip that you were looking so forward to. 

I get it, it’s horrible, but at the end of the day, if you choose to feel sorry for yourself and cancel the road trip, you will be missing out on incredible memories. Yes, it’s a week later, but now you will have new days to experience new things that may not have happened if you left the week before. And yes, you had to pay for a new engine, but at least it’s new and stronger; it knows better what to expect but that doesn’t mean it is going to stop driving (well giving the car power to drive) just in case it breaks down again. Otherwise what is the point of even having a car? They’re nice to look at but trust me, they’re a lot more fun to drive!!

Similarly, with our hearts, there will come a time when a person or situation will break your heart. This will, essentially, leave you with two choices: one, stop, or two, go.
You may feel hurt and broken, and it will be awful and hard and you will have to go through a reparation process, but it will eventually be healed. Maybe it will leave a bit of a delay in the road trip that is your life, but you will get to your destination eventually if you choose to keep going.
The moment we choose to stop our hearts from carrying on is the moment we choose to stop living. Trust me again, living is waaaay more fun than just being.

If Mary or John or whoever breaks your heart, it may seem like you will be single forever, but there is someone out there who will love you a billions times more than he/she ever could have, who will treat you way better than you thought you ever could be treated. You just need to look in the right places.
If family or friends let you down, there are other people who will still love and care for you and make effort not to let you down; again you just need to look in the right places and not close yourself off from making strong, stable relationships.
If your pet gets moody with you one day, just get a new one. Haha just kidding! People and pets are allowed to have moods. I have days where I love everyone and just want to hug random people in the street (especially those guys who are leaving to go to rugby practice… Well done maties, well done). However, I also have days where I’m moody and emotional for NO APPARENT REASON. Honestly, it is so frustrating. I just want everyone to leave me alone and I want to sulk in front of my laptop watching sad movies with a bowl of Coco Pops and a box of Simonette’s brownies with five different flavoured milkshakes on the side so I don’t have to make up my mind on what I feel like. Oh ya, and I want pizza just in case I’m still hungry (can’t trust your tummy when you’re having a bad day). Actually, maybe to feel less guilty I’ll have a protein bar to make sure not all the gains are bad ;) hehe…

ANYWAY, clearly I get very excited by food, but basically, just keep your heart going so you don’t miss out on what could be. Some people may hurt you in the same way, but not everyone will.

 
Just in conclusion, although we shouldn’t stop hearts from experiencing, we should be careful with them because a broken heart can lead to many negative consequences if not healed properly.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

Everything we do is based on our emotions or experiences, and if we choose to dwell on the negatives or hold onto the bad experiences, we will only hurt ourselves and others more. That is why it is so important to deal with what has hurt you, even if it means seeking professional help, having some insane God times, seeing someone at church, having a night out with the girls or boys; there are so many things we can do to heal, just my advice is to never try doing this alone. There is such strength in numbers, I mean even the Avengers are a group of superheroes that had to come together to save the world!

Isaiah 41:6 says, “they help each other and say to their companions, "Be strong!"

Eclessiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one,  they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

And then Isaiah 41:10, “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Just know that you can do this, you can carry on if you choose to. Your road trip may be delayed, but it doesn’t have to end.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
-Eleanor Roosevelt

Holes

I have this really awesome backpack. For those of you who know me, you'll know how much I carry around. In all honesty, I don't even know what's in my backpack half the time. I actually found a shirt in there the day sitting comfortably amongst some tea bags. Yup, how that got there is a mystery.

Long story short, last week, my poor backpack got a hole in it. It started out as a small hole, but as the threads stretched, the hole just got bigger and bigger and now my backpack is officially a convertible! Guess who has to sacrifice her daily coffee for the next two months to pay for a new backpack #FirstWorldProblems.

This got me thinking. How often in life do we have a small "hole": a problem or  bad habit, that starts out small but as time goes by, it just gets bigger and bigger and bigger until a huge chunk of you ends up missing. Its fun owning a convertible (okay, well not if you care about the state of your hair), but it's not fun being one.

Having a hole means you are incomplete and at the end of the day, God brings completeness if we allow Him. 1 Peter 5:10 says, “But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.” (Perfect=complete, whole).
This, however, means we need to make active decisions to fill in those holes. For example, your “hole” may be alcohol. Maybe it started out as one small drink after work/studies every day but then as time went on it, it became two then four then became a reliance on alcohol. To fill the hole, you need to make an active decision to get rid of that influence.

Matthew 26:41 tells us, “Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Don't put yourself in tempting situations. Using the above example, avoid buying alcohol at all, change your shopping route so it's not near liquor stores, be accountable and ask someone to grocery shop with you so you can't secretly buy your favourite drink.

I am not naïve. I know it's not easy and I don't think closing holes is meant to be easy. Even in the verse from 1 Peter above, it says “after you have SUFFERED a while”. It will be tough, but it will also be worth it. However, it is also important to remember that sometimes those holes leak if you don't close them properly or rush the closing process. Imagine a full bottle of water and you’ve lost the lid. Now imagine stuffing any old thing inside the lid to attempt to cover it up and that bottle falls over. If it doesn't cover the hole up just right, all that water is going to leak out.

Don't let the goodness in your life leak out because you're rushed trying to fix things. Good things take time and in Ecclesiastes, God tells us there is a time for everything (“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens” Ecclesiastes 3:1). If you try to rush losing weight, odds are you'll do it in an unhealthy and unsustainable manner. If you rush cooking food, you may leave something raw and your friends may end up with food poisoning. Take a breath and remember that it's okay not to rush.

Furthermore, filling a hole can be a grueling process. If you have a hole in the garden and you try fill it with sand, it can be a tiring. Your muscles may hurt, you may sweat like a beast and maybe you'll feel a little faint. But want to know something AMAZING?! You don't have to fill your holes alone. It doesn't matter if you don't have people around to support you because you've got God and He will NOT let you do this alone:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Behold, all who are incensed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; those who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish. You shall seek those who contend with you, but you shall not find them; those who war against you shall be as nothing at all. For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, “Fear not, I am the one who helps you.”
Isaiah 41:10-13

He is holding your hand step by step and although we have freedom of choice, He is there to guide you and give you direction so that you don't end up filling the hole with the wrong-sized-stuffer-in-thing (eish, clearly I haven't had an English lesson in over a year) !

Don't let the small things in your life turn into big things that overwhelm you. The best time to act is NOW, before it's too late. At the end of the day, your hole may end up affecting more than just you. My backpack hole affects me because I probably look quite sad walking around with a broken bag, but it affects everything inside my backpack as well. Anything can fall out and anything can come in. I don't know about you, but I don't want flies and gross bugs stealing my tea bags! If you don't fill your holes, you will start attracting even worse things and negativity. Using the alcohol example from earlier, I've heard so many stories of alcoholics ending up getting divorced, losing custody of children, spending all their money on booze and then losing their house and whatnot. This may seem extreme but it happens.

So just to end off, here are three tips to cover your "hole”:

Firstly, you need to admit that you have “holes”. Don’t deny it- we all have things we could work on but we don’t like to admit. I, for instance, could learn to cover my hole of procrastination. Yes, I am Michaela Christophers and I am a procrastinator-holic. You can’t fix something you don’t know its broken.

Secondly, you need the right tools. Make sure you have a sturdy spade and the right sand. Personally, I feel the most important "thing" you need is God because with Him, nothing is impossible so even the widest holes can get covered. “But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26.
If your hole is an addiction or something similar, go to rehab, to counselling or professionals who have dealt with similar situations and know how to help you overcome.
If your hole is a bit more personal, maybe going to courses or setting goals or having an accountability partner could help you overcome that.
If your hole is loneliness, look for ways to make friends (join groups or common hobbies or societies at varsity etc) and DO NOT TALK YOURSELF OUT OF IT.

Lastly, know that you don't have to do this alone. Remember, God is always there and He WILL put people in your path to help you. I heard a sermon recently that spoke about how Christianity is relationship-based which is why fellowship at church is so important. There will be someone in your path to help you, and if you feel alone remember these two verses:

“For the sake of His great name the LORD will not reject His people, because the LORD was pleased to make you His own.” 1 Samuel 12:22

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

God is SO beyond proud to have you as His child and He WILL NOT leave you to battle on your own. He has equipped you to deal with whatever you are facing. His Word tells us that He will not give us more than we can handle (1 Corinthians 10:13). I love the saying 'God gives his toughest battles to His strongest soldiers'.

 So come on soldier, show the world what you’re made of. Get rid of those holes and help others fill theirs. 

You’ve got this. Trust me, you're a lot stronger than you think you are ;)

I Am Beautiful

I was just watching ‘The Undateables" and there was a girl who had a blood disease that caused her lips and nose to actually rot and fall off… So basically there is a black hole where her nose is meant to be and she doesn’t have a mouth, just teeth.
She said something that really broke my heart:

“If I don’t like the way I look, how can I expect someone else to like me?”

Wow.

Now I’m not going to pretend I'm all “holier than thou” and all that, of course attraction is important and if I see a good looking guy, I’m obviously going to give him a bit more attention than a Gollum lookalike (sorry Gollum, but I don’t think I want to be your “precious” any time soon ;) )

2016 was a tough year for me in terms of my self-esteem. I obsessively wanted to lose weight because I had an insecurity about having “big” legs. A few comments about “thunder thighs” and “vet gat” really made me hate my legs and hips, so much in fact that I actually didn’t realize how thin I was getting. Thank the good Lord I never became anorexic, but I was deemed underweight and didn’t have my period for a year. I was so, so unhappy but I am very glad to say I actually really love myself now (seriously, you should see all my selfies on my phone and you’d see!). I had amazing support from family and friends and I’m healthy now (okay, so maybe I got a bit jiggly with Christmas eve dinner, Christmas day lunch and New Years celebrations… hehe totally worth it!!!) so thank you so much to everyone who was there for me!
But anyway, I was so engrossed with my body that I wasted my first semester not wanting to do things or meet people incase I had to eat something unhealthy or miss gym. Yup, silly I know! However, no point in stressing about the past, but at least now I am trying to make the most of every single moment.

Enough about me, I have met so many people recently who are unhappy with the way they look because of people’s comments. Please, please be careful about what you say. Something you say that you think is meaningless could actually mean the world to someone else; this can be both positive and negative. Instead of telling someone they’re gaining weight or maybe that new bright yellow streak they decided to put in their hair looks a bit weird, embrace their positive attributes instead and choose to compliment instead of disrespect.

People have insecurities. I met a guy on the plane the other day who told me he was very conscious about how skinny he is and he wishes he could get bigger. I met a very beautifully toned girl this year who wishes she had no muscle whatsoever. I met a guy at gym with the best physique I have ever seen, yet keeps thinking he needs to get bigger to look better. I know a girl with the most beautiful smile who absolutely hates her teeth. These are just a few examples, but there are so many more.
One of the biggest things I have learned this year is that you look best when you look how you are born to look: some people just don’t have those stick thin genetics, other people are born skinny and are able to eat whatever they want. I was born with big legs- no, not big, strong.
The way you choose to see yourself is the most important. This isn’t a motivation to go eat pizza 24/7 and enter into a sumo wrestling body competition, but it is more important to be healthy than super skinny or super ripped or whatnot. Happiness is the end goal and the sad truth is that happiness is deeper than just appearance. What society tells you is beautiful isn’t beautiful to everyone.

Think about it: ever walk at the beach and your mate says, “Wow, that guy is YUMMY” and you’re like, “Uh, I think you need glasses ‘cause the only yummy thing about that guy is the burger he’s eating”.

Everyone has a different definition of beauty- so you need to find yours; I mean really find yours, and then embrace that. Let your self-confidence be the thing that can help other people feel good, too. It’s awesome to exercise and be healthy but if it gets in the way of life, you maybe need to re-balance the scales and prioritize what makes you happiest. Again, maybe gymming 5 hours a day is what makes you happiest, then that’s awesome! But if not, then do what brings you the most joy.

I love 1 Samuel 16:7, ‘But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”’

And as 1 Peter 2:21 says, “For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps,” we are called to follow Jesus’ example which means we, too, should look at more than just the outward appearance.

God made you with a purpose and when He created you, He said “it was good”. Now God doesn’t lie, so the way He made you is something to be PROUD of. Be proud of who you are and embrace what life offers you. The girl with the blood disease I mentioned had a very successful date and he told her that after speaking to her and seeing her vibrancy, he stopped even noticing what her face looked like. When you are who you really are, you are going to attract the right kind of people for you, and those other people who tell you that you “have big legs” or “need to lose weight” or “need to get bigger” or whatever don’t deserve your time anyway. Time is limited, share it with people who will enrich it.

But most importantly, remember:

“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”

                                                                                                                  Song of Solomon 4:7 <3

Stolen Happiness

Are you happy?

Truly happy?

Think about it.

I think true happiness goes beyond that laugh when you're with friends; that smile when you talk to a cashier; that banter when you speak to someone you've known for years. True happiness isn't a physical trait (like a smile or laugh), however, it shows itself in expression.

I believe you can only tell you're truly happy when you're alone. There's no point only being happy when you're with other people: let's face it, people can be annoying- you may need space. Other than that, they may need space from you. In my case, I am at such a high degree of awesome that normal, mere mortals are unable to handle it and  need time away from me so  they don't explode or melt or something (okay, okay, maybe it's just because I can get super hyper and weird and that tends to scare people off ! )

Now I'm no Oprah or Dr Phil, I don't have the magic formula to help you be happy. At the end of the day, true happiness comes from reliance on God and your own personal choice, but I am here to say something I have come to believe is one of the most important lessons I've learnt while wandering this beautiful earth for 19 years:

DO NOT LET ANYTHING (and I mean ANYTHING!!!!) STEAL YOUR HAPPINESS.

Want to know something amazing?

You have the RIGHT to be happy. No person or situation can take happiness away from you unless you allow it.

Now I know you probably think "Easier said than done", but you know what: that's what annoys me about the human race. We over-complicate EVERYTHING! How on earth are we supposed to enjoy these short lives we have on earth if we keep analyzing every little thing? I'm not saying go isolate yourself from humanity, live on a beach and survive on the local delicacies of snakes and coconuts (although the beach part doesn't sound too bad...), but remember to chill every now and again and not to worry or analyze things that don't require it. Life should have a balance.

Okay, enough with my rant, but seriously: your happiness is YOURS- own it. Sometimes things won't go your way. Even Jesus says in John 17:33 that "in this world you WILL have trouble". Life isn't supposed to be easy, otherwise how would you learn and grow and make memories? Growth can be painful, but at the end of the day, growth is necessary (can't stay in diapers forever you know.... Althooooough imagine not having to get up at 2AM and actually have to walk to the bathroom...) .

I've said this many times, but your attitude determines your response to a situation. If something bad happens and you choose to be negative and all "I hate my life" and "Why did this have to happen to me", then odds are you're going to lose happiness. I don't know about you, but I hate losing (hence my first year  #GAINNNNZZZZZ). Don't give into your situation, rather, look for solutions to your problems. Solutions aren't always easy to find, but I promise you every problem has a way to solve it (sometimes that involves ignoring it until it disappears by itself #UniversityLife).

Also, you aren't meant to handle things alone:

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor." Ecclesiastes 4:9 

"Don’t be afraid, because I’m with you; don’t be anxious, because I am your God. I keep on strengthening you; I’m truly helping you. I’m surely upholding you with my victorious right hand." Isaiah 41:10

Plus I'm sure you have at least one friend (if not,just get a puppy or a really big teddy), and ask them for advice. Another thing I've learnt, ASK AN ADULT. It's not as lame as it sounds! Surprisingly, adults tend to be quite smart about a lot of things; you know, probably because they've  been through exactly what you're going through. Also remember that whatever you're facing, you are not the only one! After reading Stellies Confessions and chatting to girls in res, I realised that a lot of the things I've struggled with, many people are struggling with too! Form a group, get in touch and work through things together.

Then people.

Do not let people steal your happiness.

This is so tough because people can be so, so, so mean and selfish. That's brutal but it's true. I won't lie, I can be very selfish. You just try and disturb me during one of my very intensive series times, and I may just bite you. Yup, that's how next level I am. I don't care if you're dying from stomach pains, need help with a question or are here to bring me a gift, I'm sure there's a doctor near by, Google has tons of knowledge and - woah, okay if it's a gift then you're more than welcome to disturb me :)

Sometimes I think people are so unhappy in themselves that when they see happiness in another person, they don't like it. Let's be real: unhappiness is so much better when you're not the only one feeling it. Imagine I was really angry at someone and wanted to complain to a friend: if my friend agreed and said stuff like, "OH ME GAWSH SHE'S SUCH A COW!!" or "THAT JALAPEÑO - SMELLING FOOT FUNGI!!!", I'd feel so much better about myself than if she said, "Oh shame" or "Don't worry, she probably didn't mean it". Like come on, I know I'm probably being irrational but work with me here :/ 

Things are better experienced in groups, that's why you fight as an army or go jolling with friends (dancing alone is awwwkies, but total respect if you can do it!#TeachMeeeee)

If someone is causing you to be unhappy, TELL THEM. Communication is key. You don't have to be mean about it, but sometimes someone may not realize how they are making you feel. If communication doesn't work, it may be time to cut them out of your life. Think about it: do you really want to spend some of your few years here unhappy because of people? If you're unhappy in a place, MOVE if you can't make it work for you. If people are belittling or saddening you, find new friends. Personally, I'd rather have one or two good friends that make me feel positive and happy, than a whole group of people who just make me depressed all the time.

I cannot emphasize how short life is. You never know when it will be taken away from you. Just make the most of every single moment and don't have regrets. You are not here to please other people, you are here to please God. Stop living in the shadows of other people and BE the frigging sun!!! Happiness is infectious. You could help so many other people by openly spreading your happiness around. Be the Santa Clause of happiness this Christmas season ;) 

Laugh! If you find things funny, laugh. It doesn't matter if it isn't another person's sense of humor. Trust, ask my friends, I often say or see things that I find insanely hilarious, whereas those around me think I may just be a little bit crazy...

Like right now the airplane is having turbulence but you know what I want to do?

LAUGH! (Okay in this case not because it's funny, just because I'm freaking out a little bit, I'm an unattractive crier and there's a cute guy in the seat near me #MayBeNearDeathButStillGottaLookFresh)

Anyway, so sorry if this is long, plane rides get my mind going!

But in essence, be happy. Look for solutions instead of problems and surround yourself with positivity, not negativity.

Remember, you only live once.

(Yup, I went there #YOLO)

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband

I am so excited to finally meet you… Or wait, maybe I’ve met you already!
It’s so fun to imagine what you’d be like: will you be tall, dark and handsome? Or maybe you’ll be that blonde beach boy type guy. Who knows, maybe you’ll be one of those proper little nerds that my brother would tease me about (here’s hoping you’ll be a lekker Afrikaans boytjie, I don’t think I could handle years of being chuned for marrying a “soutjie”! :P )

I’ve got this idea in my head of what I’d like personality-wise: the usual kind, generous, outgoing, fun to talk to, romantic, good sense of humour etc etc, but deeper than that; you’ll be this amazing Christian guy who will help bring me closer to God, you will be able to have random fun with me (yup, cause I can get a bit weird sometimes :P ), but also serious and deep. I’d like to think we’d never run out of things to talk about, and when we are silent, it’s that comfortable sort of silence where there isn’t really a need to say anything. 

Just like my grandparents, I imagine us to have that type of love where we can spend every single day together for years and not get bored with one another (now this is a miracle for me because I tend to need space even from those I love the most sometimes :P #NoOffenseMeant).

I think of you as leading me in life, but at the same time, not stepping over me or keeping me in a box. You will help me reach my potential, without “parenting” over me so to say. We will grow together, and together we will achieve the impossible. You’ll support me and encourage me, you will motivate me to achieve my heart’s desires even when all the odds are against me. You will really listen to what I say (this is probably an impossible wish because I talk waaaaaay too much) and respect my opinion.

You will be the guy that my parents prayed I’d meet, and even though they can’t physically be there along our journey, you will still want to know about them and my brother and my childhood when I used to be a drama queen and tomboy who hated wearing girly things.
I know that we will face tough times and it’s unrealistic to think that life will be a bed of roses, but I also know that we will have a passionate, God-fueled relationship that will equip us to climb even the toughest mountains, despite maybe stumbling on some rocks along the way.

Hunter Haye’s song “I Want Crazy” sums it up perfectly for me:

But I don’t want good and I don’t want good enough

I want can’t sleep, can’t breathe without you love…

Front porch and one more kiss,

It doesn’t make sense to anybody else.

Who cares if you’re all I think about?

I’ve searched the world and I know now

It ain’t right if you ain’t lost your mind

I don’t want easy, I want crazy…

(Hopefully you like music and terrible singing, because my shower voice isn’t one to phone home about :P)

Now I could go on and on and on (I’m a hopeless romantic, so I’ve put tons of thought into how we will meet, how you’ll propose and you know, all those basic girly thoughts ;) ), but I have to stop myself and think. How can I expect all this from you but not give thought as to how I am as a person? That feels like horrible English, but hopefully the meaning still comes across.

It feels like when I think of you, I think of Superman in a sense. Is it fair to expect a “superman” when I, myself, am just a normal human being who makes mistakes, gets moody for no apparent reason and has several annoying habits that would drive even the sanest person crazy? Life isn’t like the movies, it’s sad, but it’s true.

Relationships take hard work and sacrifice, and sometimes we do need to be a bit vulnerable and take risks. I imagine this love that stops time, that has me feeling on a constant cloud 9, but at the end of the day, I’ve seen even the most loving couples have clashes and go through hard times. But then I think about it, we serve a pretty amazing God who tells us in Psalm 37:4 that if we delight in Him, He will give us the desires of our heart.

Because of that, I refuse to accept mediocrity. I refuse to settle for anything less than the best. But not just in regard to you, in regard to myself as well. Life is hard, university is tough, but just like David refused to shy away from Goliath, I refuse to shy away from any challenge in my life. Your happiness depends largely on your attitude, and if a person is going to have a negative attitude, odds are that that person’s life isn’t going to be one filled with butterflies and roses. 

The best things in life take hard work. It takes sacrifice and perseverance. The moment we start giving into mediocrity is the moment we do not achieve the destiny we were meant for. Just like me, you have an AMAZING future ahead of you, one that will make even the greatest names in history SHIVER IN THEIR BOOTS. I am excited. I am passionate. I am going to live life to the fullest.

On my way to meeting you, I am going to prepare myself to be a wife that you can be proud of. However, one thing I have learnt, I will not be happy with you until I am happy in myself.

Being happy in yourself is easier said than done, but if you do not love yourself, it is really difficult to love others. Why else would Mark 12:31 tell us that the second greatest commandment is to love others as you love yourself? It finally makes sense to me! One day when we sit under the stars and really dive into one another’s pasts, I will tell you how important it is that this finally makes sense, but so long just trust me. If you are unhappy with who you are as a person, mediocrity will stay with you.

I need to stop limiting myself to achieving average goals.

I am not an average girl, and neither are you an average boy.

Life is tough, but we are tougher.

Maybe I’m looking at life with a fairytale kind of view, but like Will Smith said:

“Being realistic is the common path to mediocrity.”

So just in closing, know that I back you- you can do whatever you set your mind to.
Don’t look back in a few years and wish that you’d started sooner.

There is no better time than right this second.

Lots and lots and lots of love,

Michaela <3

Are we there yet?

It was the first time I was driving to Durban without an adult in the car. For those of you who know me, you'll know how terrible my geography skills are. Honestly, I'm surprised I don't get lost walking from my room to the bathroom (the bathroom is right next to my bedroom, just saying).
So my best friend and I decided we needed a beach day- two girls driving alone to UShaka Beach, where we have been MILLIONS of times before; what could possibly go wrong?
Well, firstly, the driver could take the wrong turn off and end up heading towards Scottburgh.
Secondly, the two best friends could be jamming so much to music that they don't realise they're ending up in some dodgy area with lots of litter and minimal people.
Thirdly, the driver could start having a stress attack (yup, we all know how I over-worry...) and be near tears while the passenger laughs and says "Calm down bru, we can just do a U-turn" (yes, because doing a U-turn in a totally dodge Durban area on a highway is the best possible solution).
Anyway, needless to say, that was the most stressful trip to Durban I have EVER had and relaxing in the sun was MUCH needed after that! Despite the dangerous journey, we eventually arrived there safely.
Did I kiss the ground and shout thanks at the heavens?
Maybe.

Often this is how life is. We are so busy cruising through life that we forget there will come times when the journey is terrifying, dangerous, uncomfortable; and often in those times, we lash out and blame others, our situation or even God. But think about it: how boring would life be if the road to our final destination was always straight and calm?
Even in my opening story, the journey to the beach was HORRIBLE. I panic so easily and end up making myself sick, but after we arrived, it was actually really funny.
Maybe you're in a place now that's hard and stressful, but keep going on- drive ahead and DON'T MAKE THAT U-TURN! Growth isn't meant to be easy or comfortable, why else would it be called "growing pains"?
If we keep wanting to drive back to the beginning of our journey, it'll just take longer to reach the right destination. Now I'm not saying that's always bad, sometimes it's better to make sure you'll get there safely in one piece, rather than to get there quickly but full of regrets.
As it says in Proverbs 3:5-6,"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight."
When we rely on our own understanding, that's when we end up taking the wrong turn off and ending up towards Scottburgh instead of UShaka.
It's okay to not always understand what's going on; it's okay to not have everything worked out. Romans 8:28 says that God works everything out for the good of those who love Him. It's unrealistic to have everything worked out for yourself- life is filled with mishaps and inconsistency, but if you remember that no matter what, God wants you to have good, not bad, it really gives you a different perspective.
Now I know sometimes it feels like "Why would God let this happen to me?", but at those times, you need to look at your own actions. It's unfair to steal a car, get arrested and then say "Why would the police do this to me?” For every action, there is a consequence, and at the end of the day God did give us free will, so what we decide to do will bring its own outcomes and we are the ones responsible for that.
Furthermore, if you don't have it all figured it, remember Jeremiah 29:11 where God says He KNOWS the plans He has for us. He has a plan for your life, you just need to ask Him to let Him show you where to go.
Stop relying on people or things-they don't last forever. Malachi 3:6 says that God DOES NOT change. Isn't it more beneficial to rely on the One Thing that stays constant no matter what, instead of the worldly things that can change on a moment's notice?

Psalm 146:3 warns us, “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.” At the end of the day, we are only human. Humans make mistakes and I can guarantee you, if you rely on people for your happiness, you’ll never really be happy, and you may end up going on the complete wrong road. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Don’t be lead off the path you’re meant to go because of the people you choose to surround yourself with. You may miss out on an incredible future.

Please hear my heart. Don’t give up just because the journey is tough. Exams are horrible, work can be depressing, people can be annoying and life can just throw curveballs your way 24/7, but just know that God has a plan and I like to believe there is a reason for everything. When my parents and younger brother died, it wasn’t something I could have ever imagined happening to me, but at the end of the day, it did happen and that’s life. No one said it would be easy. Jesus Himself says, “… In this world you will have trouble.” (John 16:33). Ah, but then comes the hope, that one, sweet piece of joy in a world filled with unhappiness and negativity: “However, as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, what no ear has heard, and what no human mind has conceived’- the things God has prepared for those who love Him”.

God has such amazing things in store for YOU. Yes, YOU. I don’t know what’s going on in your life at the moment or what you’re struggling with, but I can promise you this: if you trust it to God and have faith, it will turn out even better than okay. In fact, you will look back and laugh.

“For He will command His angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.” Psalm 91:11.

God’s got your back. He is the best GPS you will ever find- He will never, ever let you go the wrong way as long as you decide to trust His guidance.

So are you ready?

Are you ready to experience a future like none you could have ever imagined?

Again, Dr Seuss says it perfectly,

“Congratulations!
Today is your day.

You’re off to Great Places!

You’re off and away!

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself

Any direction you choose…

With your head full of brains and

Your shoes full of feet,

You’re too smart to go down

Any not-so-good street….

OH!

THE PLACES YOU’LL GO!

Moments

Moments

One thing this year has definitely taught me is that life is full of moments: moments of happiness, moments of sadness, moments of laughs and moments of crying. All these beautiful moments combine to give us that beautiful thing we call “life”.

One critical thing about a moment is that it doesn’t last forever. The amazing invention of google search defines ‘moment’ as “a very brief period of time”. Yes, sometimes you’ll feel down and sometimes things may not seem easy, but just like a moment, it won’t last forever. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. Everything that happens in life has a designated time which, sadly, we have no control over. Verse 4 goes on to say, “a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance”. Each moment in life requires a different response, and I absolutely love that part about a time to dance. Yes, we will have depressing moments, but there will also come times of happiness, excitement, pure joy and gladness that no one will be able to take away from you. Think about a memory that makes you instantly smile, a memory that warms you belly and makes you see the good in life again. This sad moment you may be in now won’t last forever, soon you will be able to replace it with another happy moment that makes you want to dance and sing and, to put it bluntly, act like a crazy person!

Sometimes things seem so horrible that we train our minds to think of it as long-lasting, and that causes quite a gloomy outlook on your future. However, another important thing this year has taught me is the sheer power of the mind, as well as your attitude. By perceiving something as ruining your future, odds are, it probably will. But wait: there is a solution! It’s called changing your mind set- which will then end up changing your attitude. If you’re going to look at everything negatively, you’re going to attract negative vibes (hehe the Durban hippie is starting to show in me…). Your attitude and your mind set go hand in hand, and they will determine how you approach life’s moments. Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.”

The world can be a nasty place, so don’t lower your standards to fit into it! YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY AMAZING- now before you deny it, can I just say SHUT UP:/ Sorry for being rude, but at the end of the day you are beyond amazing and if you don’t believe it, you are going to let the world and its “negative vibes” get to you. Start filling your mind with positive thoughts, happy memories and constructive ideas. If something is making you unhappy, forget about it- or at least don’t constantly think about it because you will make it worse. You are literally feeding those bad thoughts so that they can grow and consume you. A practical example is from a book I read a few years ago: the author said that she was single for a few years and used to get super depressed watching RomComs or reading romance novels because it made her feel more single than ever. So you know what she did? She stopped filling her mind with idealistic romance views- she stopped watching those movies and reading those books and concentrated on allowing God to write her love story. This is just an example, but hopefully you get the idea. Something my aunt suggested at the beginning of the year when I was struggling with a bit of low self-esteem, is she said I should write positive aspirations about myself and read them every morning when I wake up and just before I go to bed. It worked! I also stuck up some Bible verses (like Song of Songs 4:7, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”) to remind myself that I am PERFECT in God’s eyes and I need to live in a way that shines my inner beauty instead of hiding it. Needless to say, I am now faaaaaaaaaaar happier!

Furthermore, your mind set and attitude is often a direct influence of the people you choose to surround yourself with. Do not waste your few, precious moments in life with people who are going to steal your joy. Moments are precious! Appreciate them and use them to the best of your ability. Just some Bible verses on that:
Proverbs 13:20, “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Then Proverbs 18:24, “One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
Proverbs 22:24-25, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.”
1 Corinthians 15:33, Do not be misled: “Bad company corrupts good character.“

There are several more verses but I hope those give you a basic idea; who you choose to surround yourself greatly determines the path you will end up going down. If you surround yourself with wise, mature individuals, odds are you will end up that way too, but if you surround yourself with unreliable people who aren’t what we would call “the cream of the crop”, you may miss out on fully becoming the amazing, inspiring, wonderful person you are meant to become. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t be influenced by those around you in a negative way. Life is so short. It is so, so short. I have seen life taken away in a few minutes- when you close your eyes they’re alive, but once you open your eyes again, they’re gone. Do not fall into the trap of a mediocre life! We do not serve a mediocre God. He is great and mighty and all-powerful, and if you allow Him to, He will make sure your life exceeds your expectations tenfold.

Live life to the fullest, do not look back and regret silly decisions and missed opportunities. I’m not saying “YOLO” everything, there needs to be a balance, but remember to HAVE FUN. Life is too short to constantly be worrying and stressing and miserable. I’m pretty sure God has a sense of humor (I mean He lets Donald Trump walk around with hair like that!), so let Him help you have fun while you tackle this huge obstacle of life. Do not take a single moment for granted- even the tough ones. Life is what you make of it, so make it the best you can. Remember Jesus says in Mark 9:23, “Everything is possible for one who believes.” So go and show life what you’re made of. You can do this. You can make it through. You, my friend, can be extraordinary- just believe it and then do your best to live it.

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...”

― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You'll Go!